Save a Life

Permit me to deviate from the subject of golf for a moment. One of my favorite new bands, The Fray, has a song, How to Save a Life that discusses the loss of a young man to drugs due to alienation from those who wanted to "save" him, but ended up alienating him, fighting against him and trying to change him instead of standing by him and being a pillar of strength to him. It has caused me to look at myself, and how I try to help those that I love.

This summer, I had an uncle commit suicide. During his life, he had huge struggles in his relationships. His children accused him of terrible things, and he always went against the grain as far as our family's religious and moral views were concerened. I loved him dearly, and looked up to him so much for his sense of humor, his brilliance and his charity. He was the kind of person that would literally give you the shirt off his back if you told him that you liked it. My dad experienced this first-hand when my dad commented on his tie, my uncle took it off and gave it to him. He was just that kind of person.

As I found myself aligning more and more with my religious values, and seeing that he differed from them so much, as I look back, I see that I began to distance myself from him, allowing myself to become indifferent to his lifestyle because of the contrast between our lives. I allowed myself to become at odds with him, though neither of us ever knew I was doing this. Especially at the time that his children betrayed him, accusing him of unthinkable things, even plotting with their mother to accuse him, I should have called. I should have stepped in to support him. Even just to let him know that I still loved him and was thinking about him in such a difficult time for him. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.

Go to the link above. Listen to The Fray's lead singer/songwriter, Isaac Slade, talk about his experience. I know that after thinking about this for the last few days, I am going to make the effort to in a sense stay up with those I love all night in an attempt to save them during hard times. You never know how your action or inaction will affect others. Be a friend. Stand by those who need a shoulder to lean on, or who may not be strong enough to stand by themselves. If a family member or a friend can't count on your help, whose help can they count on?